I gave her the chance to be interesting and she failed. So then I gave her a chance to be slutty and she failed at that too.
I just went through her cupboards. Eye patch and sword. nowhere near each other. different shelfs.
You're going to have to tell him your name isn't Ivor McTruckson eventually.
Hey, can you come over and kill me real quick
I'm still not sure if it was intentional, but the chiropractor definitely cradled his balls on my shoulder. He even seemed to adjust the sack for comfort. I think I should be flattered. He is a doctor, after all..
I can't stream porn because Xbox live is taking all the Internet. I thought having a male roommate would make life easier.
I'm watching intervention which is getting me psyched for your birthday. Is that wrong?
why are our drunk alter egos so much more successful than us?
How does one chug a beer and swing the bottle at someone in a single motion? This guys a beer ninja man
I'm stuck in a tree and request your assistance ASAP
I just saw a kid on iowa campus story that looked like the guy i made out with on spring break.
Not sure what happened last night, but I woke up without a shirt on and cereal glued to my boobs...
I said "one day" and that day is not today
A world without bacon flavored condoms is not one I want to live in.
Staff meetings will be awkward since my boss and I both did the new intern
Maybe she doesn’t know you did him
Oh she definitely knows - it was a threesome
Please tell me you’re not taking life advice from porn scripts again
Randomize
