Ask Niel how long his lasts if he plays with it a lot.
he says 15-20 minutes depending on the porn.
no his phone, idiot.
she said your name and I thought she was asking me to motorboat her. Best. Miscommunication.Ever.
im flying all the way to minnesota to see him for four days... cutest-best-friend-reunion or most-epic-booty-call-ever?
who says it cant be both...
He's playing farmville on his phone while puking over the toilet..
He nailed 50 frozen hamburgers to the ceiling last night. Now there are flies every where.
I woke up in your car in the McDonalds parking lot. What the hell happened to 'no man left behind'?
Please explain why there is a video of you peeing in the Taco Bell bathroom on my phone? Also why did you wink at the end?
Will give head in exchange for a Netflix password. Serious inquiries only please.
I've already come to terms that I'm gonna have to bone a few gross librarians, but hey, it's college
Totally thought something squeezed my boob. Then I remembered I was wearing a bra. Isn't weed great?
Today is a shit your pants at work kinda day
This dude has batman tighty whities on over his cargo pants and he has the nerve to yell "fuck you bitch" up at my window.
Carver called his mom a milf again
Was it on purpose this time?
His dick smelled like strawberries...it was awesome.
I might be getting fired on this week so the only option i see for tonight is to get smashed and have an orgy. actually this idea might explain why i'm not an ideal employee.
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