i wants your nipples near my face. PLEASE????
Sundresses, hats, and big glasses. That is the greatest trick the devil ever taught women.
I was worried if he didn't show me his penis, he would kill himself
I made a mac n' cheesicle. Better in my head than in real life. Gonna keep smoking to see if it gets better.
This morning my doorman told me it was an accomplishment for me to be standing and conscious after last night.
Just realized my talking to the tv hockey voice is same as my sex voice. Life just got a whole lot weirder.
you flashed the cab driver so we didn't have to pay the fare and then you decided you were on a roll so you flashed the guy at the maccas drive through... safe to say your boob job was the best idea ever!!
i must've hopped out the car and eaten some leaves...even when your'e drunk that's not acceptable
I meant to tell you earlier: bad life decision saturday has been moved wednesday this week
Just found bud in my hair....gotta love curls
We're going to brunch on Super Bowl Sunday. I am not a smart man.
the cashier at the gas station pulled a twig out of my hair and told me I should probably wash it before work....it was kinda sweet.
I just wanna get drunk and watch Tarzan with you is that to much to ask?!?
My friends said as soon as you walked in, I motor boated you like there was no tomorrow.
Yeah, I liked it.
What do you mean relationship? He paid for my tires and I gave him a blow job.
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