Idk. We dropped acid and Kevin ran away again. We didn't find him for like 3 hours.
Man I wish I had been there
Yah we found him in the pool shed of some elderly couple. They were on the porch watching all of the shenanigans. ...To be young again.
We just made mixed drinks in the bathroom of burger king. This is sad.
He went down on me in his escalade and his dick is bigger than my forearm. I'm never going back to white guys.
My male hookup buddy is gonna meet my female hookup buddy, let the awkward hookup games begin!
sorry i couldnt make it to your birthday last night. i admit i chose being a whore over you.
Waking and baking has revolutionized how i brush my teeth. Seriously up to like 25 min everry morn. Highly recommend
Someone shattered a urinal.
The night went downhill when he lit her purse on fire and tried putting it out with vodka
Just did it in a room with glowing stars to Peter Gabriel's down to earth on shrooms. This is like god
How hard to you think I will be judged if I order 8 giant pickles from Jimmy Johns right now?
Florida has a way of just fucking with a person's soul and jizzing all over their hopes and dreams. Like existential bukkake.
His parents know me as "the white shoed screamer"
Sometimes you have a life bucket list item checked off like 4 tits in your face simultaneously and getting to bang them both. I'm sorry I bailed on skiing but not really. Coming over with a boombox playing 'heat of the moment' as soon as I can hail a cab cause I'm too drunk to drive still...
i could only love him more if he was covered in glitter.
I flashed my boobs, shit my pants, and kissed the wrong twin. I'm on a roll you don't want in on.
Randomize
