So I have to go swallow an entire zebra. Ur on ur own girl.
So does your leg always twitch violently when someone plays with your clitoris? Or has my ten years of piano playing finally paid off?
No offense but you kinda look like a Jack Johnson fan in that pic
You did not just play the dead husband card again.
Just had sex in the basement of the library... I knew I was paying $120,000 for something more than a law degree
and all i could think about was how mcdonalds would not be open anymore after we were done having sex
You know i think she's just using me for sex
I hate you.
Just did ten shots in 8.34 minutes........ Slowly getting over the loss
private study room at the lib turned into byob study room. that turned into battle royale and eric impaling his leg on a pen.
i refuse to be around anyone not wearing a sombrero...its cinco de mayo
he just used a semicolon in the middle of a sext
I am a delicate flower. A fucked up, drunk, horny, pants pissing, delicate little flower.
Idk what y'all are doing but I just want you to know I'm home and if I hear him say "slap it" one more time I'm moving out
That cat I follow on Facebook beat cancer so we're drinking tonight in celebration
i just used your hair clip to unclog my bong. i miss you so much!
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