and all i could think was, am i really about to have sex with someone who still thinks that pee comes out of the actual vagina?
Y do pigs give u trufles on farmville? I WANT BACON YOU FUCKING PIG!
we went to sleep in different beds and woke up spooning. alcohol truly is the anti-cockblocker.
Is it bad that on the course evaluation it said "do you normally try harder than other students in class" and i circled "absolutely false"?
If her picture on my phone wasn't mostly of her breasts, I'd never pick up the phone when she calls.
You were wasted and fell in a pond when you met him, it's not like you were on top of your game
In all fairness I didnt see your dick because it was already in her
Yeah, it kinda sucks. But it was fun while it lasted. And honestly, his penis is way too big for my life.
I thought he put a fake swan in my yard, but no, he put a real life swan in my yard
Last night you referred to my vagina as a gym for your penis
You could totally spank that new found Catholicism out of him.
I'm in jersey with marbles.. He's blasted about to fuck a manatee and his entire family is trying to stop it. His mother punched me in the chest for not trying hard enough
I just realized how terrible that was... I was drumming on your penis to a song about Baby Jesus.
I woke up to an email from expedia confirming my flight to hong kong
I'm tired of you and your emotional constipation. WHY DO YOU CLOSE YOUR EYES WHEN WE MAKE LOVE!?
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