toast her oven
toast her strudel
inspect her gadget
No idea how i never noticed that penis before. I wonder if it works
On the bright side, nobody died. Please bring me back my left shoe. I have work in an hour.
Oh God! I'm naked from the waist down playing records. Too drunk. I don't even know what to do.
Balls out but with a shirt on. Eating ravioli. I don't know how to deal with this.
You asked me to pick a color between pink and purple, and I said orange; you told me, "okay, that's a truth question". Then you asked if I had ever deep-throated a cupcake...I didn't even know what to say.
Don't be too mad at the guy who broke your kitchen table. Didn't get his name, but he knew all about your gay porn career. Like DETAILS...
There's going to be a velveeta shortage. I'm not drunk any more, this is just dire info.
I just wanted to be the best at what I did even if that included sexing a whole fraternity or sorority ya know?
Business idea: assless chaps for toddlers. I'm high.
drunk snapchatting is the worst, because i woke up with great pictures of my tits saved to my memories and no idea who i sent them to
The adults are the big ones right?
Being forward is somethimes a problems. Like in sexual deity Kong.
I think you’re losing coherence.
I am
Bootycalls can't go limp that's like against the law
I'm not having sex with him if he doesn't believe in gay marriage and abortions.
I’ve chosen to watch a Mercedes station wagon drive around the Austrian in the rain because it’s live sports. If that doesn’t explain 2020, I don’t know what does.
Randomize
