I think there's some kind of asian convention downtown. There are thousands and they're all wearing badges and snapping pictures. I feel like I just stepped into your worst nightmare.
What started out as a threesome has become me sitting here watching them have sex... Can I get a ride home?
So are we goin out tonight?
Dude, we woke up in your car in some parking lot last night...
And that was fun, wasn't it?
Vanessa Carlton's songs would be so much better if she was pretty
i just made a "things you cannot forget to do this week just because you're high" list.
he made me have a moment of silence for the half of my ice cream cone i threw away.
Did i tell you my idea for my life plan? Not the one that involves stripping.
If there was a card that said "I'm sorry for throwing up on your bathroom counter" I would send it to you.
I lowered my expectations when he started off saying "ah missionary, my specialty"
So he noticed that I cut a half inch off of my hair. Guess who just earned himself some road head on the way to the twin cities?
Is it wrong that I get drunk and let him eat me out then fall asleep? He offers me so much and yet I do nothing. I feel like a republican.
Went and sat in the wrong fucking class for 30 mins, answering questions and shit. What ever this is i will be on it for the rest of the semester.
He said that we couldn't refer to each other as brother and sister anymore cuz we were in no way related and he would love nothing more than to get naked with me.
I remember you banged her while I was dying on your couch, so good call
I dont think the chain smoking, tequila shots or cocaine was good for my bronchitis.
Randomize
