question: from what angle do you give a hand job. im confused..
he has cookie breath... dont trust fat people.
Just deleted any ex boyfriends and potential lovers from my phone in preparation for Vegas...
Ive yelled into your vagina. There are few lines we haven't crossed at this point.
I feel like I'm taking part in a surprise porno. At least my hair looked good.
Just wanna let u know that we are almost on the pity blow job level of our friendship.
Also, my phone autocorrects ENABLER to all caps. I think I drunk text the word too often.
I don't care how stoned you are, I'm not driving to a different state for a burrito
I'd like to be surprised that there's a picture of someone pouring champagne in my boobs on Instagram, but I can't.
I've decided I'm going to drink again. More. Day drinking. Night drinking. Everything. It's the responsible thing to do since I'm not pregnant
There's scrapes on the inside of both my thighs.. Because we wanted to get drunk and climb trees naked.
He was "hot guy in the dark". One of us had to sleep with him. I took the bullet you're welcome.
I was at the pharmacy picking up my herpes medication and the pharmacist asked if I had any questions about my medicine, looked at the bottle, and laughed. Insult to injury man.
I just got a hug from a random kid in my class. he said I was a champ at the bar last night..someone help me.
So I FINALLY get to start out a story, "So there I was, naked except for a toboggan hat and handcuffs..."
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