I'm watching a show called "I didn't know I was pregnant" on TLC...Apparently this happens enough that there is a series
It's a beautiful day for a hangover
you should buy a sheep. A) you get an awesome pet. B) free coat
I would invite you but we are high and there is an AK-47. Not your scene.
God, you're like boner-b-gone
the trail of clothing leading from the bed to the door was in the exact order i needed to put them on. underwear near the bed shoes by the door.
i had choclate birthday cake for breakfast and am currently flossing my teeth w a condom wrapper. at work. hot mess for 200 alex
The air was thick with penises
I'm going on a new diet. It's called the "eat healthy otherwise boys won't want to have sex with your fat ass" diet. Wish me luck.
I swear she looks like a sloth.... I'll toss a coin...
Yea we had fun. Lost my wallet some girl has it. Sarah fell asleep in a cab and ended up at some wawa. It was cray. She's home now
Dude hobos go hard. I learned a lot last night.
Dude, you GARGLED with bleu cheese last night!
When your guy changes his swinger profile to include you. #makingprogress
Her vag MUST be made out of starbursts or something equally as delicious.
Randomize
