yep. he's not circumcised. how did it take me six months to realize THAT?
Legit screaming match in this bar over the differences between cupcakes and muffins.
no seriously. she's even got the premier of the real L word on her calendar at work. that lesbian.
I'm just sad for you. It sucks that the 17 douchebag asshole guys you're fucking can't morph into one nice, normal, non-alcoholic guy that has a drivers license and no criminal history.
He bought segways. We ride them when we get drunk. Last night he ran through the sliding glass door.
I might have hooked up with a 2003 alumni last night in the basement
Dude you were ten when he graduated
Wahoowaaaaaaa
YOHYFONSO!! YOU ONLY HAVE YOUR FIRST ONE NIGHT STAND ONCE!!
A blind man just put his face in my cleavage. I'm also crying.
You were cuddling with an eight iron and I was eating a fajita completely ignoring your presence.
So, I have realized that I am kryptonite for married men. I'm not sure how to feel about this sober, but drunk me accepts her destiny.
I woke up in some kids room and he introduced me to his friends at breakfast as "Monica" so I just went with it.
I say I'm working from home on conference call days, but really I just mute the phone, put that shit on speaker so I can hear what's going on, and let Marcus fuck my brains out.
And you tried to get me to have sex with you in our Harry potter closet lol
These business classes have improved my drug business ten fold
Replacing my paralegal is easy. Replacing my favorite office fuck toy is a totally different story. Damn him for wanting to better himself instead of being my manwhore
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