theres gunna be a new season of 16 and pregnant on mtv...WHERE DO THEY KEEP FINDING THESE IGNORANT PREGNANT GIRLS
Drunk. Just jacked off for the third time in an hour. I love not being Catholic anymore.
had to bail. she had her cat tattooed on her
We have 10 gallons of home brew. And james has an amazonian blow dart weapon that sticks in bags and the wall. Come over
Pretty sure I was rubbing Halloween candy all over my face and saying "these are my bitches."
So, since you're now a four night stand, I feel comfortable asking: Did I leave my sunglasses at your house? Or my underwear?
I seriously had to check my phone this morning to make sure I didn't agree to any strange sexual favors.
I woke up with hair in my teeth and half his beard was missing.
That's not your dick yours is smaller. Nice try.
Wait why do you have a pic of someone else's dick in your phone?
Chris used to fill up a Camel Back for thirsty Thursday. God I really miss him, do you remember when he gets out of jail?
I think I got a sinus infection from puking out my nose on st. Patricks day #thisis26
Did you ever think you lost your bong and then you find it in the weirdest place? I mean, who leaves their bong in the shower?
We should leave before they realize I dumped a bowl of Fritos in your bag just in case I got hungry
A cop may or may not have seen my bare ass against the moonlight within the past hour
Got lost on the way to my dealer again. He stayed on the phone with me untill i found him and then hooked it up because I got lost.. What a genuine person.
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