My roommate still talks on AIM. What is this middle school?
We were walking home when he passed out, we left him. Just got a call from him, hes in a jail in Canada.
But like now everytime I pee I just think... wow I had sex with him on this toilet.
They let me out of the holding cell just in time for me to get the morning-after-pill. Rock bottom feels even worse with all those hormones.
come in to starbucks and ill make you a 4loko latte before theyre banned
I mean, I can get to know him eventually. The time frame doesn't really matter. I'll have sex with him regardless of whether he's interesting or not.
i know i said i'd always be there for you, but i'm beginning to think that what you call "being there for me" the american judicial system calls reckless endangerment.
Just bartered a McD's cheeseburger and fries for two pitchers. Oregon Trail ain't got shit on me.
Well, I convinced myself I had a sixth toe and then I ripped it off. So I PRAY you're doing better than me.
He stopped responding after the animal pictures... I do this EVERY TIME.
Started the 4th with a foursome. I don't know if it gets more festive than that. #MERICA
But seriously I might need help getting spray paint off of my body.... But don't worry about the penis I scrubbed him already
And now let us go forth, and be garbage people in public.
Isn't that our default mode?
Driving, getting head and talking to your boss on the phone is not a good combination. I nearly died
WE ARE DOING DRUGS AND GOING TO THE STRIP CLUB SATURDAY LADIES
Randomize
