I think im going to throw up on grandma
Microwave minutes are longer than normal minutes.
I got to the point where it seemed like she had 8 giant breasts instead of just two
He;s fine. He just kept saying "hurricane Gordon is coming to shore" and flexed his muscles a lot.
Using 'equal to a modern day cock block" in term paper, inappropriate
For some reason I have a hard time believing getting drunk and recreating a movie about singing transvestites is ever very far from a situation you're in.
I have the coolest burn here. Everyone is taking my picture. I'm like a celebrity of the burn victims.
I have to date her. We need a place to stay when we go tailgating.
I drink way too much to have a type. Last weekend I picked up a guy who calls me "baby girl"
i think i swapped my keys for drugs last night
You say you're gonna take rehab seriously... but i keep imagining it as a training montage for you preparing to snort all of columbia.
That actually is really sweet of you
Can you work for me at 4? We might have just taken some drugs we found in the couch and... end of story
a large sweaty girl i dont know is sleeping in my bed. A scotish man and a small child looking dude are on the couches im on the floor sleeping and im ok with it
I like to oil my gears with cheap vodka and strangers
they were drunk. and loud. and now they're drunk and quiet. or dead, you never know.
Randomize
