Yes. UR adorable in a weird way.
K, im just throwing this out there, i am not making out with any of his friends... Especially the cross eyed one.
im 80% sure the guy across from me is taking pictures of my legs
he was uncircumcised...I HAVE NOT YET REACHED THAT SKILL LEVEL OF DICK
Is it bad that we're talking like nothing happened?
Ah. Blossoming love after wild blackout drunk sex.
just fucked two guys in less than 12 hours. i miss this part of being single.
and by single i mean slutty
Can you explain to me how i got kicked out of a bar last night, from outside the bar?
You should imdb "mourning wood" to see what I'm doing with my $80,000 English degree today
This is why Helen Keller didn't drink
WHY THE FUCK IS MY BATH TUB FILLED WITH MUD?!
1. You were drunk 2. You wanted a mud bath\n3. We tried to talk you out of it, but you kept throwing dirt at us
Look, you don't know disfunction until you've sat on the john taking a shit and crying while totally sober.
there's people who respect me enough not to bang on my bed and i think that's beautiful
I'll never lecture you, go get that dick baby girl make momma proud,I didn't raise no quitter
I’m not spending 14 dollars on a margarita unless it’s rimmed with cocaine... actually do you have a blender?
Get ready for me I'm full of tequila and I want to be full of you next
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