he needs to stop telling all his friends what my queefs sound like. its getting awkward to be around people who can quote my vagina.
is not sure whether or not everyone at the club last night calling me a-easy is a good thing?
Last night I ate the rest of the salsa with my hands. And i DONT have a hangover? Glorious.
i stalked him back to the creation of his facebook in november 2008. that bad.
I think we should bring back the casual nipple tassel
WHYAREWHITEGUYSSOBADINBED?! What the fuck went wrong, evolution?
Why are there hooting douchebags outside my building? Did a sport happen again?
I got really high and googled the history of Amish people for like an hour.
I just got a call from the front desk apparently one of my feiends was dropped off by a handicap bus passed out in a wheel chair unlv is goig down
you were caressing the jar of pickles then you looked down and whispered to them "I want you inside me"
He said I took his samurai sword off his wall and proceeded to jump off his porch at people coming home from the bar.
FYI my mom is sending thanksgiving "samples" of her fancy pot stash for us this weekend. I bring the BEST family leftovers.
Suffice to say, I think if people ask about your bruises, and you look them right in the eye, and say "they're from fucking...", people would be like, "respect."
One day I'll learn not to get drunk on a plane. Today is not that day.
only i would get off to receiving death threats online
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