I thought you said his peep was too small
it is but i have no money and nothing is on tv until 7 when americas next top model comes on.
She was drunk and kept trying to talk while I was in her mouth. It sounded like the teacher from a Charlie Brown cartoon!
either we just had an earthquake or I am really good @ masturbating
Why is there 6 cases of kwic trip dounuts dumped in my bed? Best 34 dollar wake up of my life
Made out with a girl in a wheelchair and rode her around while I was blackout. On a new level.
I was dressed as bob Ross as this occurred
Yeah...I know. It's cute I think...I mean cute in a weird like hey I kinda took you home from the bar one night, maybe criticized your penis, and fucked your brains out...kinda sorta way
Was that you I seen riding on the top of a cab? Way to start the new year
I forgot I did whipits. Probably because my brain cells were killed from the whipits
He even wore it to bed. What the hell. He's too excited about that goddamn costume.
Dude. She came to my room in nothing but a trench coat. Took it off and said, "you like" in her Costa Rican accent. God I love college.
You're going to find someone that you love very much and that loves you, and then you're gonna find an additional person that you literally can't stop staring at from across the room. I feel very confidently about that
She caught me by google maps... Lets just say it wasnt her car in front of the house.
If he wants a future he'd best figure out the calendar function on his phone. If he can invite you to his penis he can invite you to his google cal.
We got stoned and watched Disney movies all night. I think I'm in love.
Planning a vacation around my dog. I have become one of those dog moms.
Randomize