your life is more of a joke than dina lohan.
if you\'re going to compare me please pick the classy one. Michael Lohan.
and that's when the elephants and penises started dancing on the ceiling
she had a my little ponys comforter. i left when she went to the bathroom
Omg. In the pub, there's a guy shouting at the olympic channel 'yeah! Kill that motherfucker!' we're watching figure skating.
I went from a chick that didn't like to have sex to one that can't get enough of it. I can't believe I'm going to say this but at 27 I think I need a happy medium
We had sex in front of Notre Dame Cathedral, but I lost my wallet. God giveth and God taketh away.
well you decided to make everyone "drinks" which was sprite and beer mixed.
My mom just covered me while I peed in the street. I love her. i also love parents weekend.
I had to help him get his zipper down in front of his dad so he could pee in the bushes. That Is what moonshine does to you.
seriously, who doesn't want to get shitfaced and have sex to the backstreet boys?
Only you can make me eat tacos in your car, while naked, on a dead end road in a ditch on a Thursday night.
The time to say "now you can't go and be strange about this at work" is not as you are penetrating your coworker. NOW its awkward
That moment when a stripper is the one that makes the two of you have to define the status of your relationship...
Also, I just opened Google to find the lyrics to California Gurls. Karaoke night did us dirty.
I spent last night dying strippers pubes green and landscaping shamrocks. That is why hands look like I squashed a leprechaun.
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