She came over with Guinness cupcakes, a case of Mickeys, wearing an Ireland flag & nothing else.
he's legally blind and likes the sound of my voice, good enough for me.
Three of the best words ever! Cocaine. Research. Study.
She's hidden vodka up her skirt and is riding a parking meter. Things can only get better
She said her hobbies include bangin guys on one night stands and then sending them facebook relationship requests the next morning just to freak em out
I think I just inadvertently started a sex competition with my roommate and her boyfriend.
It was smashing those cupcakes into my face that did it. Junk food and I don't mix.
In between when I last wrote and now have screwed a Swiss guy on a hostel bathroom floor. Okay, real life?
I'M SO WET FOR FREEDOM
It's always a good night until the penis tattoo makes an appearance
This whole quitting my bad habits all at once is really messing with my ability to function.
At one point of the night i was standing at the bar and 3 of them had their hands down my pants, they were like thumb wrestling for it.
Sometimes a man just deserves to get woken up with a blowjob.
It was all going good until I realized she was wearing underwear with a butt flap. Mission aborted.
If I take a couple more shots I won't even know he's a Mormon that drives a motorcycle
Randomize
