We had to use the stains on Phil's shirt to try to piece together what happened last night.
Busta Rhymes just yelled at me! He cut a song off and I was clapping and he looked right at me and said "don't fucking clap." I was that white guy.
turns out they were just sand fleas, not crabs.. thank you random mexican girl from padre who's name i can't pronounce
Doing tuck and rolls down a stair case was not my brightest idea
found used condoms and an omlet in my uggs. I'm disgusted but not surprised.
I'm having a flashback of telling a guy that he was beautiful and graceful like a unicorn while playing shuffleboard.
It was one of those "wake up holding a random metal flower" kind of nights.
Drunbk and roasting marshmallows on my stove. Accidentally singed the catr's fur but she'sd alright.
He drops f bombs like every other word and he just gave me 127 shares of tmobile stock for free. I feel like I should pay him back in blow jobs or something.
Should I be concerned you put your last name in my phone as "danger"?
Side note, from now on any snap chat I get that isn't interesting enough... Is getting a dick in response. Judge your snaps accordingly
lol I'll trade you jello for a tampon
what a trade!
congratulations on joining the accidental bisexual club
My boyfriend and my fuck buddy are going to the strip club together... Should I be concerned?
I've decided it's okay if I take a pregnancy test every month. Then I can be like, "Good job, self, way to not procreate this month!"
Randomize
