Considering the face that your still in jail Im gunna go with no.
You can bone my sister, but I will end our friendship if you write 'LOLERS' one more time at the end of your texts.
have you facebook stalked him yet?
No, I don’t know his last name...
Just google his license plate numb
I can practically hear my vag and my conscience fighting.
Bath mats should not be used at mops. they don't work. consider this a drunk psa
Tonight when I'm getting a bj from a stripper I'm gonna imagine it's you bobbing down there
I'm sitting in my room naked waiting for him. When he gets here im going to make him do 20 pushups and lick my clit for a hour
Remember when I asked you to make sure I didn't go home with anything less than a 6 last night? You're fired
Jusy read on a science page that squeezing boobs can prevent cancer cells from forming in them, youre welcome.
I only see on penis in this picture but I assume there is another lurking out of sight.
Both guys that I'm dating were waiting for me in the parking lot after work. Literally the most awkward situation I have ever been in
In the morning when you read your texts, just fyi you showed up at my house drunk off your ass and shoe less and demanded I go to the bar. You need Jesus.
I refuse to plan drunken casual sex. Just think of the monster I'd create.
well apparently i sat in the bathroom staring in the toliet at my vomit. it was blue. how was your night?
I am listening to my ipod while i puke, this is most entertaining hangover i have ever had.
Randomize
