haha my mom just sent us out to go to all of the hair cutting places to ask for hair because deer ate all our zuchini.. and we have to pee in a bucket all day cause deer hate urine. please tell me we are normal?
i cant lie to you.
Shaking her cervix like it's the hottest ticket around
I should take him calling me "a freak of nature" after sex as a compliment, right??
We've had the 'life would be so much better if we were both lesbians' conversation too much for that to be okay.
Eating Doritos is not nearly as enjoyable when I'm not drunkenly feeding them to peacocks.
just wrote a 6 page paper on my blackberry. including 3 sources. college is teaching me good things so far.
I'll throw in a blow job for your kind ways. Or another booty call. I'm poor and not very imaginative. This is all I have to offer- the unicorn like wonders of my vagina.
I'm doing this for my boobs. They miss him.
You convinced us both to take shots of jack Daniels through our eyes.
You look me right in the eyes and yelled "By the power of the superglue beer sword, I designate you my driver!" I almost felt honored.
Got so drunk in South Padre some guy put me on a suitcase trolly and pushed me to my room. I flashed my boobs as a tip.
I look like slutty woodland creatures dress me in the morning. Everybody's got problems.
Life's too short to be sucking dicks in cars for the rest of my life.
Last night was incredible. I can tell by the nacho cheese on my jacket
I am certain that you would be a mere freckle on the behemoth of slutty that has taken place at this complex.
Randomize
