I saw those LARP guys in the street again. One is hot, the other looks like Corey Fieldman's retarded son.
Just fucked a hooker at a motel in New Jersey. Two states down, 48 to go.
Vanessa Carlton's songs would be so much better if she was pretty
We had sex in the woods. It was great until some bird started mimicking my orgasm sounds
I see you felt the need to carve your name in my kitchen table. thanks
I take that as "no I'm not driving you to the bar in a blizzard"
Just put a dog collar on someone's child.....was a great hit with everyone but his mom.......I think she hates me. I'm okay.with that
he slipped a picture of a kangaroo under my door that said "im sorry" on the back and passed out on my lawn.. who the fuck is this kid?
we have what I like to call an assload of ramen noodles
There is nothing quite so pathetic as sitting in bed in your underwear eating easy mac in complete silence, waiting for Netflix to load
I just ordered a "football meatlong" from subway
At leat we can cross off 'having sex in a classroom' on our bucket list.
A picture of a damn cupcake brought back 3 fuckboys
I just watched your sister pour half a bottle of cotton candy flavored snow cone syrup into a bottle of marshmallow flavored vodka, take a swig, frown, and pour a cherry coke in.
Just wait until she offers you a "powerita"
You’ve seen my tits of course he broke his wedding vows
Randomize
