I bet there is no greater pleasure in life than pistol whipping people.
Anal.
So let me get this straight. You would sleep with an uncircumcised guy whose name you didn't know, but you won't try the new shrimp taco from taco bell?
we turned his baptism video into a drinking game
Our Icelandic basketball player brought cocaine and rachael is screaming that he should do lines off her stomach. It's that kind of party
We broke into the space center. If i go to jail I wanted to tell you, you have a fantastic dick. Use it wisely.
So my OCD kicked in and I cleaned his kitchen. His roommates were so grateful, they tried to pay me in weed.
YOU ACCEPTED, RIGHT?
Well... He is a good looking man underneath all the fat and muff.
Quick!! What's a good reason for me to have rug burn on my chin?
He told me he loved me. I didn't know what to say so i just squirted the baby oil at him
Made it just outside my dorm and yack on the front dirt. Wave to a dad thats staring, continue on my way.
It's 3 am and I'm buying cat food and batteries for my vibrator. Good thing I shaved my legs for this.
I mixed Jack with hot chocolate. This may be the best or worst idea ever. I have yet to find that out
I can't hang out tomorrow. A boy wants to feed me ice cream and touch my boobs. Priorities.
At least you didn't have a hemorroid rupture while banging
They were shocked that I could handle my liquor so well. I'm half Irish and half Russian. This is what I'm made for
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