i think the world will end when pigs can fly. think about it, everyone says blah blah when pigs fly. so shit would be going down if they ever can.
oh fuck your right
dude...I wrote 15 jersey shore quotes on her body. she is going to do the walk of shame with snookie on her forehead.
All I want for christmas is my sobriety back.
I hit 10,000 texts this month.. I think my grandkids have carpal tunnel.
Walked girl from last night to car as gf was driving up. Got slow clap from neighbors.
They drank shots out of my cleavage. Surprisingly, the one who did the best was a gay guy.
I've said it before and I'll say it again: your tits are a danger to gay men everywhere.
He was sleeping, but the way he was made him look like an adorable, fuzzy penis
They fucked on my pong table last St. Patty's and broke it. I feel like I should be hiding my new one. Would hate for a tradition to form.
I'm praying that the company stray cat shows up tomorrow. I think I may have hit it while leaving Friday. Nobody will believe it was an accident after I hit the last one.
He held the beaver pelt from the fireplace over my crotch and asked his friend "she look familiar now?", he then remembered my name.
I made everyone scream the national anthem with me after playing true American last night. I'm pretty much their leader now.
I am more than mildly offended he didn't screenshot the snapchat of my boobs.
Teacher vividly described one of the times he did shrooms, sat down, sighed, and told everyone to go do drugs and let us out 15 minutes into class. I love community colleges
Brother gave me a harry potter philosophy book for xmas we need to get stoned and talk about this.
You did what with his pubic hair?
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