And my dad told him he was a great looking guy. and then added "no homo" after.
Bonnaroo quote of the day: "why the fuck am i pregnant?!?!" - exclaimed loudly by random hippie.
He just became a fan of Chelsea Handler on Facebook. WHY DO I ALWAYS PICK THE GAY ONE
Theres been so much buildup for our genitals to meet, one or both of us is sure to be disappointed.
It's confirmed. We did xmas carol the grocery store across the street from his building at 2:30am... Only the staff was there.
Well on the bright side, I only need a sophomore to complete the fuck-a-guy-from-every-year-challenge.
i wish you were under my bed. you sexy russian fur trapper.
please. text the right number. youve been sending me these all night.
Managed to get through family dinner without anyone knowing I was tripping balls. Christmas miracle. He exists.
Remember when I said "no boyfriend, no problems"? I lied. Tequila. Tequila is a problem.
Hey, I got 20% of the people home that I was responsible for. I can't be expected to do much more.
The number of times I have seen your cock and the number of times I have wanted to see your cock are different!
Just had a threesome with a married couple.
Stop living my dream.
She's eating hot cheetos out of the bag with chopsticks, Matt, how is she NOT my soulmate?
Every time I try to do something productive I end up searching ghost porn.
i just used your hair clip to unclog my bong. i miss you so much!
Randomize
