found out what b.m.t stands for.
what did you think?
bread, meat, tomatoes, but then i realized that could be practically any sub.
I figure if he loans me money i only owe him sex for the rest of the summer before i pay him back, right?
his semen tasted like maple syrup. no wonder fat girls always wanna fuck him.
oh, i've got big weekend plans. on an unrelated note, do you think viagra will work if the guy is roofied?
What kind of gift says: "I love you because you're my mom & I'm obligated to, but I don't like you" ?
She pushed me over. She offered me a shot from her tits. We're good now
So I'm texting her. How do I steer the conversation toward "I honestly would be fine never seeing you again"?
Well sort of got busted by a cop while having sex outside, so your call
My actions are not mine. They are the actions of Patron.
Pandora was on point with the sex music tonight
I was really proud of me too last night! Found a discarded hamburger that I have no memory of at the foot of the bed. Instead of a Dude. I'm really growing as a person
He's got a beautiful penis, I can't lie
Finally get to put my practical writing degree to use! I'm writing a craigslist ad for a threesome
Emily saved me from being trapped on my roof and then I beat her in a race at 5am it was a low key night
I think I hear the ice cream truck
I could be going crazy though
NO IT IS THE ICE CREAM TRUCK IT'S ALMOST AT YOUR STOP
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