This boy just came into class wearing sperrys and a polo but also carrying a longboard. I'm unequivocably attracted to his level of doucheyness.
I had sex with billy mayes last night. HE KEPT IN CHARACTER THE WHOLE TIME.
They just sang me a song about how small my dick is in front of the whole bar
he's werid. hell kiss me after i go down on him but he wont kiss me after i eat anything with mustard.
she asked him to cuddle cuz she was cold and instead he got up, moved the space heater to her side of the bed, and went back to sleep
And I can feel feelings now and they hurt
Why do I always miss the parties you're naked at?!
I get naked cuz your not there
I got a thank you card in the mail from the virgin i slept with on the camping trip. Weird or the new classy?
It seems that only way I've actually improved myself after 2 years of writing for the school newspaper is that I've mastered the art of descriptive words to improve my sexting skills
Just text the random number in my iphone notes that was entered at 1am. Should be interesting.
His name is Dustib. Not a typo. I just can't.
Right when he asked me if I was on birth control my dad walked in. This is my fate.
I think the reason she hasn't text me back is because I spanked her ass with Hulk Hands
I'm hungover from the 8pm vodka and still drunk from the 5am beer.
Our conversation went from you choking me to my quarter life crisis reeeaaalllll quick.
Randomize
