That girl really should ne nicer to her vagina. It's not a playground.
Apparently hers is a theme park.
I was being carried out of the bar, but then my friend saw Pat who just got kicked out scaling the wall to sneak back in, so he carried me back in, sat me on the bar stool, and the bartender just let us all keep drinking.
Being persistent has its perks my friend.
I would make tea from her tampons just to see her tits
The best thing happened. Some guy was butchering Conway Twitty at karoke and the power went off in the whole bar. And someone shouted "you pissed jesus off when you messed with conway!"
You owe me a new pair of headphones. You plugged mine into the top of a mustard bottle.
No I remember falling down the stairs I just don't remember it hurting.
So the weirdest part of it all was he whispered in my ear "can i eat you out on your tredmill?" I dont find him attractive at all anymore
He literally is quoting that 21 questions song, the 50 cent one. oh my god.
Cops came. Forced us to take the "Honk and We'll Drink" and the "Free Shots to Father's of Freshman Daughters" signs down. Before we did, someone honked and the cop said, "Aren't you gonna drink?" They then told us to move the party inside by ten.
If you end up at a gay bar on a tuesday night in steelers pjs, does that mean youve hit rock bottom?
Nothing like hearing "I found your pinky nail" before you even noticed it was missing.
We just got home a lil bit ago. No sorority girls showed except the ugly swimmer chick and she asked if I've ever faked an orgasm.
Hooked up with a 20 year old. Only reason I did was cos I thought he was 18
Tinder recommend to a friend: making threesomes easier since 2016
I sent him home with blood on his fingers and shame in his heart.
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