Their bromance is so intense that they don't even eye-fuck when they see each other....they eye-make-love.
she requested me as her brother on facebook.... biggest. letdown. ever.
she refused to get out of the dog cage till we sang "be our guest" to her.
I feel as though the word "tired" has become synonymous with "too high to manage the stairs" lately
You have not lived until you've seen your mother stumble into the house with one shoe on mumbling incoherently about tequila cupcakes.
I'm cheerleading for traffic. people are staring. Why am i the only high person on the way to class?
Just had a random flashback of you tickling some guy's nipple with your claw ring, and then him moaning and stripping in the middle of the bar. You give good memories.
Just broke into a house and crawled through a window. Upside: getting laid.
We were taking body shots by lunch. I love college.
Cleaned the whole house at 7:30 and after cleaning the bathroom I think I had cocaine on my sweatpants
I don't think he likes that I'm always sending him pictures of me in my bra but he needs to get it together
I have 3 vacation days left and I'm guarding them like a gay dragon on a pile of gold dildos molded after celebrities.
Smaug the FABULOUS
This time tomorrow I will be drunk and in a voodoo shop
She said if you lived here it would be like the x rated version of 3's company
Do you remember what happened last night? All I could find we're phone numbers of strip clubs in Detroit. Did we go to Detroit?
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