I thought I was riding a bike, but I guess it was a vacuum cleaner
I will fuck a handful of worms if you hold them
I just witnessed someone getting head in the parking garage. Don't ever tell me Baylor is too conservative again.
yeah, and when i walked in on them fucking he said "go away, i'm making sons."
In fact, not a good idea to go into any house alone after a man invites you in from his balcony.
There's always time for handjobs
I honestly don't know if ill make it through the next two hours. The hangover is strong with this one.
If I give you a key to my place you have to promise to one day wake me up with a blowjob.
And by one day I mean once every two weeks.
We smoked a bowl in front of the abortion clinic shouting Obama at the protestors.
But in defense of this shit summer we've had, I totally perfected my shotgunning skills. I have achieved my summer goal.
I can't wait for you to tell me about your sex.
It's a short, short story.
Theyll love you, its bunch of older ladies who drink whisky and sours and talk about the sex seans in Game of Throwns
Jager makes that raccoon appear... The one that shits in a basket in my living room.
I POOPED CONFETTI TOO. Ingested unacceptable amount of it oh my god can I die from this?
Um..... I have taste. The only thing I am going to bedazzle is my vagina.
Randomize
