Hey kate, how is it?
sloppy...it's emily. kate just tried to do a keg stand. they dropped her. we're leaving.
Funny, I didnt know that facebook statuses were for crappy song lyrics
I'm done. I'm tired and there's a topless pic of me floating around the nation's largest 3G network.
We're smoking a joint the size of the average penis right now. I may not survive.
Your philanthropic work just got me laid, thanks dad for naming me #2.
Last night was just one giant freudian slip.
You made out with EVERYBODY.
Can I just bleach my life?
I think you would be disgusted with me if you knew how many times I had imaginary sex with you today
Why is hotel staff askin about the blood in our room
She described me as " a caterpillar of adorable quietness that exploded into a slutty butterfly" She definitely nailed it there
so I'm staring at this cat and wondering..is the tail of the cat the derivative of it's head?
stop getting stoned after studying for a calc final.
I just put on my phone calendar to remind me of my final child support payment in 2029
I think we need to dedicate ourselves to building your stamina back to uterus breaking level
Vodka Red Bull is like your spinach if you were Popeye
Remember, I smoked so you wouldn't have to. I'm like the Jesus of Marijuana.
My lack of taco bell is hindering me from seeing the good part of that situation
Randomize
