Good news! Whoever used this stall at Target earlier...not pregnant!
Is it too weird if im a sexy tampon for halloween?
hey everyone... booty call? my house tonight. bring friends to fuck my friends.
It didn't go so well. He got drunk and asked my dad if 'front or back' virginity mattered more.
we found you under the sink... we opened up the doors and you told us to go away because you were playing indian in the cupboard
He offered me a ride home but i walked. He lives by an elementary school so a 10 yr old safety officer helped me across the street during my walk of shame
we should drop off a car at the police station before going out tonight so we can drive home in the morning
At this point I will cuddle anything to prevent from dying alone
So scratching an ex marines beard, telling him "nice hairy pussy." then when he opens his mouth to respond, I started fingering his mouth. Needless to say was a horrible idea
I'm 2 beers deep on an empty stomach, and I just wanna say, I pride myself on my use of commas
I spent the whole ride asking the cabbie if people ever have sex back there, and if he wanted me to make that number one higher.
Yes, bail money means jail. It also means lie to dad, do it now.
... Okay, fine. But I don't want to be a better person tonight. I'll be a better person tomorrow.
See I insist I'm not a groupie and then I say things like "will bang for a backstage pass".
I'd have to have a ring. Like I don't want to be called "the ex girlfriend that shit on me"
Randomize
