It smells like Drakkar Noir and desperation out here.
That's why you should quit smoking.
Waitress cut us off at Chili's bar. New low
They just gave us root beer floats. I guess I won't quit my job today.
I drowning out her crying with songs from the Beatles it's good for us both. She relives her 30s and i dont have to hear her cry
I got my parents high. They've been watching spongebob for six hours. You cannot tell me I'm not the favorite
so went to the condom shack today. bought a condom that dresses up your dick in a suit...tomorrow im fucking in style
Accidentally just signed something at work 'lotus flower' I need to keep my stripper life separate from real life.
It's tuesday, which means cocktails followed by cocktales.
Dude made his own urinal by punching a hole in the wall and pissing in it rather than waiting in line. That is the stuff of legends.
Gina was bawling her eyes out and then she ran into the street and peed. she kept screaming "LOOK WHAT YOUVE DONE TO ME"
Apparently at 2 AM I decided to let the world know about my newfound love for elephants
Your text makes more sense read in reverse.
I'm not sorry for loving America more than everyone else
Now we're discussing the sex we had and the later lack thereof. It's like marriage counseling via snapchat.
Yeah but if you conceived a child on a park slide that would be pretty awesome
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