it turns out vodka filled condoms arent that funny
Dude if it is possible to orgasm from shitting i think it just happened.
Her brother is deaf.
no wonder she was so good with her hands
Two people in the coffee shop I'm at are on a date and talking about how acid has affected them and the girl just mentioned meth. Fuck studying, this just got interesting.
idk. I was on the deck with Dominic and i felt something weird on my arm. I looked down and you were licking my elbow.
You need a Jiminy Cricket, but for sexual decisions.
We call it "Dishes: Hard Mode". Basically whoever is doing dishes gets head but needs to finish the dishes before they cum.
And so far nothing been broken!
Just got back from the tanning beds. I'm a lobster. I fear for the safety of my nipples falling off.
omg i wish you could see the front of my car.
There's literally a dust print of your body and your arm trying to hold on and the other one where your fingers visibly dragged down the hood.
Btw any and all sexual fantasies or arousal I had about cops is null and void.
I did wake up to a random meat and cheese plate next to my bed, that was a thrill.
He asked me if I've ever had my ass ate and there was no polite way to say yeah your brother's pretty in to that 😂 I went with "no"
He took my Spanx off and still fucked me twice. I call that success.
He has fairy lights round his bed.. And played Jamie cullum when we had sex... Hes batting for the other team right?
Remind me to do laundry tomorrow so i have something decent to take off when i get laid.
Randomize
