Crosby and Malkin: Two girls, one cup.
So does your leg always twitch violently when someone plays with your clitoris? Or has my ten years of piano playing finally paid off?
She started crying. I don't think she's gotten head from a sax player before.
Literally been drinking for 10 hours. Hammered. Roasted chestnuts fell out of my shirt earlier.
I know I'm her Sunday school teacher. I just feel I would be saving others from a lot of headaches by telling her someday she's going to be a stripper
I'm sitting in the corner at the bar with a poolstick in case a brawl breaks out. Some crazy shit is going down and I'm trying to show my feathers like a horny peacock.
I just had a 30 minute conversation about hummingbirds. That high.
I miss high conversations.
Swinging. Is. Amazing.
I feel a bullet train of disappointment headed in your direction.
Pros and cons of selling your underwear to a guy on craigslist. Go.
Come down off the roof.
You broke the end off a wine bottle, ran outside and screamed "FOR NARNIA!!"
LISTEN TO ME! GAY. FIREFIGHTER. They are the most rare and precious kind of gay. The kind little gays dream of. It needs to happen.
You knew you'd end up at his house the minute you emptied the bowl of condoms into your purse.
Next guy I fuck must be a cowboy
I'm gonna fight the coyote
A friendship for the ages born on how horny we both are
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