I just tried to put my feet in my slippers and found cans of beer in them. Christmas in fucking july.
I'm in new territory... I've never had to convince a guy to let me give him head as an apology.
About to fuck some random fraternity guy I met at a party. I guess this would be the right time to say I don't want to be with you anymore.
I just need to actually convince myself that drunkenly having sex won't help me forget the last time I drunkenly had sex, it only makes the situation worse.
After we were finished she said "That was like marriage sex". Should I take that as a compliment or insult?
I've thrown up twice at work. Just casually, in the mop sink. Then continued to make someone a milkshake. Want some ice cream?
Omg, looked at my call history, and judging by the times of calls it took me like half hour to walk home frommcds
You insisted on going outside so you could "breathe real air".
She was touching herself and looking a shoes online. My debt is bad enough without bringing that hot mess into my life.
Tequila, beer, rum, gin, and vodka all mixed in my body last night. The whole "never turn down free booze" is catching up to me. Hungover = understatement of the year.
I think we might have a drinking problem when the ASU kids called us crazy
No one made them take a shot with us at the 12 hour mark. That's their bad
My little brother came home while I was sitting there icing my vagina with a bag of peas. Asshole looks at me, high fives Ryan, then leaves.
Me and my girlfriend were watching porn together..... it got awkward cause I kept getting notifications from my family on Facebook
He lives in a tent in my ex'd backyard. Why the fuck would you want any of that dirty dick?
Actually, my eyes didn't start bleeding until the next day. So it was a pretty awesome night overall.
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