my boss just made his own remix to aaron carter's i want candy. i cant decide if its the funniest or most embarrassing thing ive seen
For some reason fuck navy didn't go over quite as well as say fuck michigan;
We must be getting old. All of our friends are having kids and they aren't illegitimate.
You were absolutely insistent that the entire bar knew that it was peanut butter jelly time
I have fifteen cents in cash and 80 cents in the bank. BUT I have weed.
I'm hard boiling eggs, drinking rum, and talking to my 8 year old brother about the 10's times tables. This is what thursday is all about.
just gave another girl i passed on the walk of shame a high five
Walked girl from last night to car as gf was driving up. Got slow clap from neighbors.
Ok wear gym clothes just in case we feel like going shitfaced to the gym
I just remember being in the bathroom alone cussing out the bunny
Last thing I remember clearly was, "ok, but if we're are gonna get drunk before class, there's no half-doing this"
Come to find out, there is a place where binge drinking and aggressive head butting is completely appropriate. In a mosh pit, Travis is just a regular dude!
Not gonna make it. My ovaries are playing laser tag
Hahah I’ve never had someone stop me mid-coitus to tell me how amazing I am. Def ego boost.
I’m sorry, some of us common-folk don’t have access to steady dick
Randomize
