Sometimes I think its so cool that a dick that has been inside kate moss has also been inside me. So exciting.
i just spent an hour trying to convince my blind date that star wars is better than star trek. help me
similar to the time we made up the game of screaming at the top of our lungs any time a guy any of us slept with walked into the party. that went over SO well.
The last thing i remember was high fiving everyone on the planet.
Just rescued a super cute pair of Gucci heels off the sorority lawn on my way to work. Things are worth two paychecks. Fuck trust fund kids.
You should fuck with them and beat off in the cup and then walk out an be like, "This was a sperm donation right?"
Dude, she got on top of me, grumbled in a low voice "I'm going to make you remember me", and then farted.
Can I just say that you're probably one of my favorite people to have sex with and then eat hummus with at 3:45am?
The bottle of Jameson may have been a bit aggressive for a Sunday cookout.
Trying not to look at her chest is like trying to not hear a fire engine racing by.
Matt's offering to breast feed it.
Good!!! I'm so proud of you for not snorting alcohol. Big girl steps.
As a rule...I don't sleep with my friends or watch movies with talking dogs
There's glitter all over his bed from my Pink VS panties... I think I might invest in similar styles as a way of marking my territory just incase.
There's a random table in the kitchen...and it's not the kitchen table...we don't know where it came from
Randomize
