Did Neil Armstrong say the moon was too far away! NO! He built himself a fucking rocketship is what he did!
Yes because finding a guy to give head to is pretty difficult.
I mean not really
Obviously that's why it was a joke you are so stupid it's impossible.
I decided that not getting a job after college is gods way of telling me I will make a great housewife
I had a new years resolution not to be a whore anymore, but I think I'm gonna wait till 2011
"I could never have "feelings" for someone who, at one point, wanted to "hate fuck" my face."
I wish i had more things to dip in ranch... That's the most stoner thing i've ever said
Be careful. Don't drive if your body turns into a caterpillar again.
She made me take my shoes off outside her room but she didn't make me wear a condom. I am confused.
I did the walk of shame wearing his scrubs. Fucking med school students is the way to go.
I'm sorry you were dumb enough to get played by a male cheerleader
The waitress asked if you wanted white or brown, and you said "Isn't it all the same color when it's toasted?". She stared at you for about 20 seconds before she decided that you weren't fucking with her.
I wound up running down the street in 12 degree weather in just my bra and then fell asleep cuddling my bottle. You tell me how last night went.
I mayyyyy have moaned a name that wasn't his
Never ever make a tattoo bet. I now have a shamrock on my dick.
Helped a guy at work today that did nothing but stare at my chest....safe to say the Girls were looking G.O.O.D. today.
Randomize
