I'm in a strip club that reminds me of a crack house from the 80's.
Ask Niel how long his lasts if he plays with it a lot.
he says 15-20 minutes depending on the porn.
no his phone, idiot.
i believe i can now do shots of gasoline with no chaser. its been that kind of summer.
we were sitting in the bathtub when she came in with her grandpas cane adn beat us until lindsay passed out
The guy I wanted to make out with just got beat up, let's roll.
When you get home there will be live fish in the bathtub. I did not put live fish in the bathtub.
Sending a dick pic with a 2010 time stamp on it is violation of proper sexting etiquette
It is very possible that having sex with you just now just got me into Yale
His last Google search was "will sperm ruin the retina display on Apple products?"
Would it be weird if I congratulated the guy who almost broke up my marriage for working on the marriage equality bill? You know, thanks for fighting for the sanctity of marriage. Weird, right?
Whether ya want it or not, it's gonna happen. Assimilate to the gay
My rule for unemployment is that I can't smoke before noon.
I haven't gotten up before 1 though, so it hasn't really impacted me.
How much weight does it take to launch a cat using a trebuchet vs the tension required for a catapult?
Well, if it makes you feel any better I'll be drinking tequila and doing lines on Halloween. Just like old days.
On another note I never thought having a drug addicted stalker would prove useful
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