I dreamt Michael Jackson dropped his pants in front of me and I had to ignore it.
I just love slightly exposed cleavage. Not too much to be whory but just enough to say "your kids will never go hungry"
It feels like I shit a light bulb that shattered on the way out.
I just showed my boobs to our astate representative hahahahahahha
we were watching porn and trying to copy the position they were doing now i think my hip is dislocated
He's having a heart to heart coversation with the keg about what he should do with his life.
just used clorox wipes to give myself a whores bath. hello finals week
Stop. He threw up in front of Madison Square Garden security. Spit at the guys feet and grunted ughhh at him.
Referring to yourself in third person during sex is apparently an instant turn off
She thinks Jesus was an astronaut.
Just saw the ex while I was at CVS at 3am buying Depends for my heavy flow
did you just send me my own nude
he probably thinks i inited him over to have sex but really i just want to show him 90's music videos
I told him I wanted to get on him and ride him to Montana. It didnt end like i thought it would.
My last memory of last night was being in a laundry room doing blow and admiring a washer and dryer... I think that's the earmark of old age
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