sellin beer in gallon jugs is both the best and worst idea ever. Im only gonna have one beer...but its gonna be 128 ounces.
we just saw you getting yelled at by the cops for trying to 'hijack' a street sweeper...how have you not been arrested yet?
I would like to apologize for my MANY attempts of trying to motor boat you.
Fuck at this point id do just about anything for 20 bucks
That has been your downfall in past encounters with 20 dollars bills
Him cheating on his girlfriend resulted in a $1500 hospital bill from repeated blows to his testicles by my ass. They diagnosed his pain as "testicle trauma". Sex karma at it's finest.
It's like you're a magic genie of bad timing
The realization of how permanent those tattoos really were set in this morning... I am SO sorry.
Be ready for a dog pile. On your head. With my ass.
after all you did bang a few mechanics. you must have got some second hand skills by now for building us a go kart.
some how during sex we caught an ENTIRE pillow on fire. A WHOLE PILLOW.
Is there one of me peeing? If so do I look bangable in it
Grilled cheese and shark week. Unemployment done right.
I went in for a high five.. He went in for a kiss.. Today is a good day
so you might not believe this but he made a powerpoint. and gave you a 3.5/10.
I could hear it slapping against his thighs under the robe!!!!!!!!! You are a lucky girl!
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