Well I thought that next 8 ball would either kill us or turn us into Gods
goodnight i made you a song goodbye
my grandma just put on bowling shoes, to play wii bowling.
Drunk lesbians having an argument about their realationship isn't as hot as I imagined.....
She was shaking her boobs and I was so high all I could think was "breast maracas"
I think we should roll her a welcome back, sorry your godmom's on life support blunt.
It felt as i were a pad of butter melting onto a piece of toast.
Almost just bought a peacock. I need to get off Craigslist
Who put the meatball sub on my door handle?
UGH FUCK THIS TRAFFIC I WANNA SUCK A DICK
For a man with no legs he was surprisingly good at doggy style.
I don't know whether to high-five you or stage an intervention.
On a scale of 0 to Thanksgiving, there is no amount of food that fights against tequila.
I've been sober for almost two weeks and it's been the worst two weeks ever. Even my mom told me I need to start drinking again.
I'm sitting here with a band aid on my labia, this is a first
She puked on the floor because she said she really liked to clean.
Randomize
