How can something that makes you feel so good one day make you feel so bad the next?
Alcohol?
Sex with a fat chick.
i am only reminding you that showing off your fellatio skills on vegetables is probably not an appropriate party trick
I love Japanese schoolgirls with short skirts riding bikes on windy days.
You're never coming back, are you?
I just realized I've stolen a hat from every guy I fucked. Except the last one. Maybe there is hope for me.
i just got yelled at for having sex. this sorority thing is worst than being at home. at least at home they think im still a virgin
my dad just asked me if my booty call guy that comes over at 3am and leaves at 6 would like to stay for sunday brunch next week. you in?
Well I'm just gonna sit here naked in this chair and whatever happens happens
He chipped a tooth on the first beer. You know the night is just going to be a slushy mess after that.
I hope it's socially acceptable to wear a mesh one piece into last call tonight?
BEHOLD THE MORNING PIGEON
SANCTIFY THE CHALK TADPOLE
THERE IS NO SOBRIETY. ONLY ZUUL.
Dude, you flipped off a cat from my balcony and yelled at it to get a house
I hope to God it's not the new neighbors having sex, because what I'm hearing sounds like a mildly defective vuvuzela or a cow giving birth.
Had a dream I cut my own dick off. That's it I gotta see a doctor...
Umm
Exactly.
Thank you, BTW, for defiling my bed. Glad it was done well.
You know the sex was rough when you wake up with a chipped tooth. I have no regrets
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