yeah bitch needs to recognize there's only one person with this face
Yeah, I was googling pictures of sharks, and I accidentally typed "shart." Huge mistake.
the girl I was having sex with just mumbled victory for msu during sex. i love basketball season
do you know what somber means? it's kinda the opposite of a kegstand
True bitches know their best friends favorite Boones Farm flavor.
You threw an open can of pop at me while I was lying on the floor babbling and drooling about how I need to be alone forever, me and my leaking face.
He is stood at the top of the stairs nursing the stolen cat
Before we rave about the healing powers of your penis, remember it nearly killed me as well.
I'm gonna make some noodles and go to bed. Hopefully I don't fall into the stove or something.
just walked across campus with a bottle of champagne in between my boobs. night two and the quest for classiness is already over
see that vagina ? that vagina means business
If a cougar buys you pizza and wants to show you her newly-won house, you have sex with her. It's the law. Just being all the man I can be dude
He kept singing Happy Birthday to himself, yelling at the bouncers for not letting him in, and telling them his "father will hear of this." He was like a drunken Scottish Draco Malfoy.
And then he said, "let's have sex and I'll send you home with enchiladas."
I’m sorry my lady boner messed up your mojo!!
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