Yeah i'm definitely friends with drunk kyle, not sober kyle.
you decided to have a spaghetti fight but then you got greedy and decided to eat it all.
I just ate a whole pineapple for lunch. You should be begging to give me a bj tonight.
You seemed more interested in the queso dip than you were in the hand job
I've also hijacked your can opener. Sadly not for the same sexual reason as the muddler.
Puking green right now......... jaimison mcflurry very bad idea
He is juggling broken glass botttles, I think its time to cut him off...
He told everyone he was freezing their keys so they couldn't drive drunk. When I opened the freezer this morning, my keys were at the bottom of an unfrozen ice cream tub of vodka.
We have to use a contraceptive. God help the world if another one of us comes into fruition.
There is booty call etiquette, and he just isn't following it. I'm not making you breakfast, gtfo.
our friendships a beautiful delicate flower...that has been crushed by peni
I told her to not worry about it. Lone Star is an excellent first trimester beer.
Woke up this morning with girl, I ask her for some gum. She says "there's a guest toothbrush for the boys in my bathroom". I can't decide whats worse, that she has a shack brush or that I actually used it
Only thing exciting about him was his dick.
Alan said you can come over and eat me out anytime you want, as long as we give him enough notice to hide in the closet before we arrive
Randomize
