We had sex on the hood of my car and broke the windshield.
Dude turns out her best friend is lesbian...there is no wingman for this situation
the last thing i remember is ordering pitchers of white russians....
Got home. Hugged Mom. The look on her face indicated she noticed nipple rings.
Wise words from the guy who drunkenly chipped his teeth on the sidewalk
Crosswalk actually
Am I the only one that feels like there are hundreds of tiny people having a rave and stomping and kicking around inside my head this morning?
Well u missed Autumn's newly 21 yrs old sister flashing her tits and standing on the bar last night.
He asked me if the reason I slept around is because I grew up in a broken home. I am so done fucking Christians.
Would be in best interest to sanitize the DVDs
They were so big her bra clasped in the front. Didn't even know those existed.
I told you alcohol was flammable, but you didn't believe me until you tried to extinguish your sparkler by submerging it in vodka and the bottle burst into flames.
Weird, Jen didn't know mixers were solely for coloring purposes. Don't call me an alcoholic because you're uneducated
He called my vagina his wife... how is that NOT creepy?!
I'm fucking camped out by the bathrooms. I think the poopatrator is in there. Wtf is my life
Almost an end to the saga.
Like honey no, I’m getting groceries while pretending that having sexy talk with you is turning me on
Randomize
