I wish I had a waterproof laptop so that I would watch porn in the shower.
They are providing beer and having a margarita machine. This cannot be passed up.
You overflowed the toilet cuz you tried to flush apples. you said they were singing too loudly
I'm drunk in a field. the chupacobra is going to eat me. if I die serve vodka at my funeral.
Pizza toast. It's like pizza but on toast. BC we are broke. OMG its so good.
You would never do this sober.
Are sex swings allowed in dorms
You were naked too, so it cancels out. We're straight.
I just got a lap dance from a kid in the coconut bra... So not drunk enough for this.
You dove at him but passed out mid dive. Shame it wasnt a costume party your superman suit wouldve been clutch in the situation
I biked home blackout drunk last night, but I have some memory of throwing my bike in a rage when I couldnt get it down the stairs. No idea on the bright orange puke in the sink.
What type of bandaid should I use on my clit
And then you screamed, "I JUST WANNA POUR MAPLE SYRUP ALL OVER HIM AND RAVISH HIS BODY!!"
Let me atleast have my coffee before you start talking about your penis
Tonight I learned to never try to impress your ex by dancing on the stripper pole while drunk. That’s how you end up in the ER
Damn, I just did coke with a dude in a bathroom and after he took his dick out right in front of me and took a piss. What a power move.
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