Note to self: never go down on a girl first thing in the morning…its like opening a grilled cheese sandwich
We didn't go..parents came home with patron wanting to play drinking games --we asked no questions
Well Im currently dressed up as batman raiding frat houses for booze
He only dropped the Russian accent after we started having sex.
I walked out of the store holding my face and a lady pulled her daughter away from me as I then threwup in the parking lot
Just found a pic on my phone of you on squatting on the hood of a police car about to take a dump. Care to explain what happened last night?
Is that a tongue signal to get over there? That's how my two heads are taking it.
you were leaning up against the wall pulling your shirt up asking girls to dance on you. your courage to do that is both admirable and frightening.
81 degrees in april.... Thinking margaritacicles, you in?
There are 27 signatures on my ass. What the hell happened last night?
Every time someone made a cup you congratulated them by letting them sign your ass.
He didn't get laid that weekend.. and that is honestly an accomplishment for the rest of us.
If the fate of the world hinged on some chubby girl getting laid, the president would dispatch me with a fifth of Jameson immediately and then rest easy.
Lol. I get my husbands paycheck every week. Immediate deposit into my purse next to his balls.
I think clothing becomes optional at the second date! But you seem like a rule breaker
Its nights like last night that make me want to high five my liver.
Randomize