it was like she wanted to be a once a week night stand
Someone told me that drinking would get me no where in life. Drinking has gotten me everywhere in life.
so you had a one ended conversation with the toilet las night in between barfs. you kept telling the toilet how strong it was because its gone through a lot of shit in its life.
drunk me is so punny.
I'm gonna answer everything she says with 'cum on da face' until she breaks up with me...great idea or greatest idea?
Ya these assholes wanted to like sit around and eat cupcakes and watch the notebook. I was like fuck you, I want to go make some people uncomfortable in public.
I was talking about you wanting my dick, but that works too
Just participated in the saddest thing: Cheetos. Handjob. I have lost at life
I'm straight up riding in the back of my truck in a bean bag chair right now. Feet propped up and four loko in hand. Glorious.
Yeah plus that night got so disgusting it's basically a repressed memory anyway
He had Homeward Bound on VHS how was I supposed to not fuck him
In other news, the one guy I DIDN'T have sex with in High School is now famous.
what food is Colorado known for?
Pot brownies.
When I finally came to, I was in the DJ booth wearing his headphones while he was spinning. That's all I got.
I dont even know what happened i just remember waking up with beer cans outlining my body...
i just turned on my printer and found 10 pounds of german chocolate inside. i think i found where you hid your candy last night
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