Beer is about to convince me to do something really stupid.
who knew i was capable of sobriety and human-like emotions all in the same night?
please tell me why my pillow is wearing your thong...
...i wondered where i left that...
As an added bonus, you will have a "25 blowjobs a month" voucher, expiring thirty days after the first initial bj.
my longitudinal study of the long term effects of sloth and alchol-intake is nearly complete.
so you are graduating this semester.
I feel like our relationship should have moved on from you constantly asking if I'm gay
Dude. You gotta go home. I think I left the snake hanging on the chandelier.
There are many penises to be discovered and claimed tonight
We're like Lewis and Clark
DUDE I FINGERED JOE'S MOM, PLS DONT TELL HIM, MORE LATER
He licked the buffalo sauce off my fingers and then we had the best sex of my life.
how soon in a friendship can you start calling them a motherfucker
Damn. Looks like nobody I know is doing anything interesting. Guess it's another slut-it-up-with-strangers sort of night.
OMG LOOK AT THAT PIECE OF MAN
I haven’t trained for this.
would it be awkward if i bring my husband?
only if i fuck you in the bathroom while he's paying the check
So naked ping pong was a mistake... Looks like we were attacked by an octopus.
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