don't worry, i have a range rover and a brother hopped up on steroids.. we can solve this little misunderstanding quite easily.
I think god was stupid personally. The clit should be inside the vagina. Idiot.
I don't see why you're so upset, it's not like you were wearing pants either.
walmarts paint section shouldnt be open at 3am
Calling yourself a modern day Geisha doesn't justify being a whore.
Why do they give me cups on $8 pitcher night? I HAVE A PITCHER.
You know what, I don't care that I got too drunk and didn't make it into the boat party. If I had, I probably wouldn't have peed on you later while we soundly slept. I feel you need that in a best friendship.
I dont care how drunk you were. Making a bet with MY husband at MY wedding that you could seal the deal before he could is ALWAYS inappropriate!
When I said tequila slammers would be the death of me, I didn't intend it to be today. Oh god.
Ok get your liver ready for the weekend. Harry Potter Drinking Game Marathon is a go. BYO liquor of choice, rule cards at the door. I wanna see some Hagrid level drinking out of you, Muggle.
the day has come. I have finally reached the point in my life where I just don't give a fuck about anything anymore. it's beautiful!
are you just sitting in your hotel room drinking popsicle vodka?
.....well anything sounds bad when you say it like THAT
So anyway, I'm just floating along life with my vibrator and low expectations.
I was really excited when I saw a billboard for neverbethirsty.org this morning. Then I realized it was for a church.
You were laying next to me in bed at 4:30 a.m. I asked if you were drunk and you said you weren't drunk you were buzzed like a bumblebee. Then kept rambling on about having to call out of work.
Randomize
