i finished masturbating and realized my blackberry had accidentaly called my grandmother in my pocket during it. awkward...
so i was eating a special k bar this morning for breakfast and started choking on it so i reached into my bag for water turns out it was liquor.
And for your info. Don't pee outside with glow sticks. People will still see you.
I have this strange craving to see a really fat person go down a slipnslide
Im about to have a threesome, Ill pay you twenty bucks to go clean my room. Just throw it all in the closet.
I just noticed my teeth are no longer straight. Wondering if anyone had an explanation.
I gurantee you I'll be the only one dressed as a giraffe.
we are blowing up condoms and making balloons and we’re drunk on the floor. You could have come to school here
No. I just want to cuddle and talk about our feeling. Of course this a booty call.
I used my yoga mat as a door stop so he couldn't come into my room when i was sleeping last night. Drunk engineering at its finest
She just got on the scale. frowned, got off and took off her pants and then got back on
Well, he hasn't actually seen me naked. Just my boobs... and the left side of my vagina.
I promise that I won't shotgun beers with your boyfriend this time, Scouts Honor.
I refuse to plan drunken casual sex. Just think of the monster I'd create.
I'm currently drunk proofing my room
Randomize
