I reminded them that I didn't puke and I cleaned yours up! So huh!
I've been emailing with a woman. I don't think she's into me, but we've become sorta email buddies. I'm hoping to meet her because on her profile she states she's into 'fisting.' Frankly the thought kinda freaks me out but I'm dying to see what kind of woman is 1) into that and 2) admits it upfront.
eye of the tiger was playing while i pooped... it totally helped.
I think Charlie st. Cloud is the saddest thing I can masturbate to.
we cut her off and put her in bed but by the time we got back to the drinks she was already there shirtless. she's the topless tequila ninja
she looked at me completely serious and said "orgasms are 15% Stronger during a hurricane" and started to take all her clothes off
I figure that my generation of my family needs an alcoholic. I'll take that burden.
Sorry I disappeared. Do you hate me?
Not at all, did you not hear me clapping outside your car on our way out?
Then he texted me that I was the "good kind" of fat.
Giiiirl. Just had a BM that almost killed me.
I'm definitely not at Wal-Mart eating jalapeno poppers with an elevated blood alcohol content
I think I blacked out after I decided drinking alone on the trailered jetskis was a good idea
I definitely fucked a Trump supporter last night but I wouldn't let him fully admit it because then I would've had to leave and his cock and abs were too perfect
How did you interpret 'wheat thins' from 'vaginal trauma'?
he went down on me and a few minutes later he asked to show me a magic trick. then he pulled a quarter out of my vagina
Randomize
