Yo dont text me then not text me
I have nothing to say, just wanted ur phone to vibrate
Dude you just kept yelling "She was my first asain!" right in front of her.
there is a polo shirt epidemic at this bar. also, im pretty sure i just saw the grown-up coppertone baby
We were tigers and tigers don't wear pants
Where's the Hot Mess Express headed tonight?
I hope that's not the new nickname for my friends and me.
You totally narrated your dogs thoughts for 2 and a half hours last night, and I was enthralled. I didn't say one word, I just listened.
Don't make fun of the drunk girl eating bread out of her pockets. I've been that girl.
also, add "teaching boys to sext" to my charity work
If I come back tomorrow to find a certain football player tied up and locked in your closet, shit's gonna get real.
I'll set him free tomorrow morning ;)
Welcome to Missouri, the show me your genitals state.
He snorted adderall on my table. I have a feeling he's not trying to buy me flowers
Is kiddo a correct name to call someone who you stuck your dick in?
He seemed genuinely disappointed when I told him I wasn't going to make out with him to Bring Me To Life by Evanescence so I feel like I've pinpointed the breaking point of this relationship
I'm not gonna lie, but for some reason I have this strong desire to watch porn with my pint of haagen das.
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