Don't forget I'm 20 now
I liked you more when you were 19
I think the only thing that impresses me are nice penises...and Jesus. Jesus would impress me. Especially if he walked on water again.
its summer. and we all know college gfs do not count in summer.
college gfs dont count ever. theyre like getting corn rows in jamaica. you feel cool at the time. then you go home and people make fun of you.
i make out with random ppl when i drink he shouldnt feel special
And secondly i just said i'd pay ten dollars to have sex with you
fuck he's narrating my life in a british voice make him stop im way too fucking high for this
I was just compiling a top 5 blowjobs list and that's in there for sure.
his extensive knowledge of the age of consent laws kinda scares me....
Just beat 2 Norwegian women in beer pong. Never been so proud to be an American.
I tried to take home a cat on broadway last night. I named him Pinocchio and put my purse down on the sidewalk and tried to put it inside it
Dead. I am actually dead. Also, worst nightmare confirmed: throwing up in a four hundred person lecture.
I smoked a joint in the bathtub at 8 am then went back to bed
YOUUUU FUCKING FURRYYYY
I DIDN'T COME HERE TO BE SLANDERED LIKE THIS
A log hopped out of the fireplace and caught the carpet on fire. Good summary of this election if you ask me.
They call you PBJ boy because you were trying to seduce me with pieces of a peanut butter and jelly sandwich. Successfully might I add.
Randomize
